Aggressive versus Passive attitude
“Lower your gaze.”
“Turn the other cheek.”
Throughout our whole lives, young Muslim kids are taught to obedient. Never to raise your voice against the elders no matter how wrong they are about religious issues. Never to debate with your teacher even though you may be correct in an issue. You are always taught to be passive, naive, and innocent. To be oblivious to all the realities of life because your world is under one bubble that shelters you from the reality of the ummah. The ummah that is so assimilated that you get a cultural backlash.
It destroys you.
You keep all your notions inside. You are soft-spoken so people feel the need to exploit you, to raise their voice over yours. They feel the need to incite you. At first, you say patience, the all famous line “have patience through prayer.” You dot your “i’s” and cross your “t’s” and yet there is always speculation. That one uncle in the masjid who has a problem with you because you made a mistake the first time you lead namaaz. The fact that you were so scared and anxious to lead the jamaat for the first time in your life.
Then, it happens…
Rage takes over. You have mental and physical confidence. You do not back down anymore. You shout back to the uncle who does not understand fiqh or tajweed. Heck, you challenge him to memorize Surah Yasin correctly. You fight back for what is right because no one will defend you except yourself.
Being a passive Muslim destroyed me for the longest time. We are told to be passive in every manner while being under constant speculation of comparisons. We do not fight back because it is considered as a cultural taboo in our society. It took me a longest time to get away with this “turn away the other cheek” notion. The world revolves around the survival of the fittest, “only the strong survive” mentality. Tell me, were Ali and Uthman(RA) passive? Did they turn the other cheek? The Islamic Empire flourished under their leadership because they were Alpha Males, they did not fear the Roman Empire or the great armies of Spartans. Simply put, they harbored self-confidence amazingly.
Everything I learned in my hifz career was a refuge from the reality of the condition of the Muslim Ummah. It made me weak and self-depreciated. When I finally broke this bubble; it was an amazing feeling. I had amazing confidence, the confidence that will make you tremble. The confidence that will make you call me “batameez.” But I tell you what; I am glad I changed, which was for my own betterment. Because this confidence that I harnessed, it is the same catalyst that pushes me to be the best. Alhamdulillah, I never had this much understanding of myself and no feat is impossible for me.
The bottom line is- we need to shy away from this passive mentality for the young generation of kids. I see too much in real-life where kids do not value themselves because of this passive nature. There is a fine line between arrogance and passive, let’s ensure that the young generation of kids understand this. Let’s support the young generation of kids instead of constantly scrutinizing them as they try to make themselves better by challenging themselves via Islamic education. The world already has many negative elements, let us harbor a positive vibe of energy that is beneficial for all rather than constant negativity that already diminishes our self-confidence.
